Sunday, November 8, 2009
I Miss these people. I hate admitting that but I do. In February I lost the majority of my friends. People that I have love and trusted for the past 5 years. People that I considered my Family here in Orlando. People that I invited to my Wedding. People that I was in weddings for, there for engagements, bridal showers, bachlorette parties and weddings. People that I knew would be aunts and uncles to my some day children. I made mistakes and others made mistakes. There were members of the others who although not directly involved got involved and cut me out totally. I never got asked about my mistakes. I was just accused and cut off without so much as ANYTHING to me. I was just ignored and thrown away. Do I have faults OH YEAH! Did I make mistakes OH YEAH! Am I perfect OH HELL NO! But was I asked my side of the story NO! Was I totally cut off YES! Did it hurt..... you have no idea. I have been told that They couldn't have been my real friends if I lost them but I honestly cant stand behind that 100%. Jealousy had a lot to do with this and I know that. I have been pretty much alone since February. Yes I have the worlds most patient and loving Husband but.....my other 2 bffs live in New Hampshire and in California. Thank GOD for text messages, twitter and BBM! BUT it isn't the same. I am lonely for my friends. I have nobody to go to the movies with to see a girly movie. I have nobody to shop with. I have nobody to go to Cold Stone with. All these people still live where we live. I have run into them all out and about and been smiled at but ignored. I am hurt. Beyond hurt. They have NO idea what that fees like. Do I wish I could go back and change certain things YES! But most of all I wish I was given a chance to tell my side. That is the worst part! They have each other and I have nobody. Do I want pity? Nope. I just think that sometimes you have to put your pain out there. You cant keep it all inside bottled up. Will this do any good? Nope. But I needed to get it out!