My 6 Cents

A Blog was posted over on The Disney Driven Life that has struck a chord with me and instead of filling up their blog with my response I decided to come to my own blog and respond.

I was given permission to link this blog by the blog owner JL.

This is the post that was posted.

Dear JL,

Hey there! I just thought I’d write to you because you might understand my frame of mind right now. Do you ever just want to give up completely on the Disney community thing? I’ve tried to jump in at different forums and on twitter. It is just so frustrating. Then I see all the goings-on among people that have known each other forever on the Disney boards and twitter, and I think, “Why bother? I’m never going to fit in there. They only RT things from friends or respond enthusiastically to the known people. I’m never going to be able to compete with what’s already out there.” I just want to give up.

I needed to vent a little I guess. Thanks for reading this.

Signed, Discouraged

Dear Discouraged,

Yes, I have those days ALL THE TIME! I’m not kidding either. It is very frequent that I want to throw in the towel because I feel like I am not interacting enough or I am not “in.” I see inside jokes being thrown between cliques on twitter and in the forums, and I feel like an outsider. I see people making plans with one another to which I’m not invited and feel unwanted. I will have a blog post go up sometimes and only a couple (if any) people will actually leave a comment, and I feel like I have failed at connecting. But in all honesty, I think a lot of the isolated feelings stem from the disjointed form of communication we are tryng to use. It’s hard to know if people don’t respond to tweets and posts because they don’t like you, or if it’s because they just didn’t see them.

In my minimal experience online, I’ve come to realize that what often feels like “not fitting in” is just due to trying to participate in an imperfect form of communication.

There are times when feeling “left out” is an accurate perception. I have dealt with many clique-type attitudes in more than one Disney forum. I have even been undeniably snubbed on twitter and in chat rooms. It is ugly. It is mean. It is wrong.

In some cases, I have decided that I don’t want to participate in the group. In other cases, the media platform has been big enough where I could find other areas on it to socialize.

But regardless of what is decided, in order to find a place in the Disney community one must show persistance. Keep tweeting, following, posting, offering help, etc. You’ll find that it will come.

My main point is that there is no need for insecurity. Just be yourself. That is the best way to draw people. If you try to be someone you’re not just for the sake of fitting in, people will see through you and be turned off by it.

Chin up! I’ve had my days where the purpose of my activity got lost. On those days I’ve had to step back and take a breather. But I’ve always returned and put my Mickey ears back on. I hope you decide to do the same.

Neurotically yours,

JL (NDM#1)

Hmmm... Ok I get it. It SUCKS when you feel left out of events going on. I stopped visiting the DIS boards because I didn't think i gelled at ALL over there! Those people were kinda mean since I wasn't a Mom or a Dad so I just said BUH BYE!!!! Not worth my time! Jealousy that people get to do cool things that you wish you could and go places you want to go. Hell, I get that on a daily basis. But what I have issue with is the not including thing. I am lucky enough to be a local and be at the parks on a weekly basis if I can. ANY time I have been out there and an out of towner has been in town if I can then I make the time to go and meet them! Even if it is for a 5 minute hi bye type thing. And I have never seen one of the people on my list turn someone down. I have not been able to meet everyone ( I am SO SORRY Seth and Kayla) because I have had other things going on or it has been fees-able ( i don't drive and rely on public transportation most of the time). It isn't about not making people feel like part of the group or included. Sometimes you just cant meet or hang with everyone.

There are a group of people on Twitter that are participating in the Food and Wine 5K in October and we have given out teams a name! The Men are #MoronsUnite and the Ladies are #SnarkyTiaraQueens. We also have a Group name of #LushCrew . People have asked about the groups and we have said that they are team names for the 5K and if you are participating in the race then you are MORE then welcome to join our little group! People have gotten mad at one or more of us for not including everyone. Well, pardon me but what is the point of having a team name if we just call everyone that name? We are planning specific events and shirts and celebrations having to do with the team so I think it is our right to have our own name. I'm sorry that not everyone feels included but if a group of people are planning something and you cant come to that event you cant be mad at us for continuing to plan said event! We aren't the only ones that are a specific group either. There are others. Perhaps if people did some digging and found out the reason behind the group and the event they wouldn't have that "left out" feeling.

I follow about 300ish Disney people out of the 600 someodd people I follow and I have been lucky to meet a few off that list! I have made some life long friends thanks to twitter! People that I love to spend time with and people who I can call when I have had a bad day. I am not blind to the Clique-ness of twitter but lets be honest. Weather you are in school, work, a knitting group, a book club or ice skating there will ALWAYS be Cliques. There will always be the "cool group" that you wish you were part of. But as adults we know that the entire concept of "cool group" is just plain ridiculous. You make your group of who you want and you do the things you want to do! If you want to be included then ASK.... then SPEAK UP. If you hide behind a screen name or a knitting bag or your desk then you have NOBODY to blame but yourself! if you want to have fun then get out there and introduce yourself and meet people! Thats how I did it! I went and Met Amanda Tinney at the parks one day and we hit it off and she brought me to the Social Media Moms Conference and I got to meet all my other amazing Mommies and that lead me to meet other people and so on and so on! You have to put yourself out there sometimes. And I don't always click with everyone. I am loud and mouthy and I have opinions I have NO problem stating but I am VERY happy to report that I have clicked with just about everyone I have met in the most amazing way! And there are people that I have connected with that I haven't met in person yet but as the weeks go on I am so excited to do so!

Let me get my point out. This is the INTERNET.... honestly, it is hard to catch everything everyone says. Tones and Sarcasm don't always come across the best on line. Its hard to judge someones mood unless they state their specific mood. I do my BEST to reply to everyone that talks directly to me. I even talk to people who aren't directing a question to me and sometimes they don't answer me but I don't get bent out of shape (well sometimes I do but we all have emotional days). I follow 600 some odd people... it isn't always easy to catch up with my tweet stream and there are people who follow a WHOLE lot more AND a whole lot less then I do and cant always keep up. There also isn't a Twitter etiquette police. Not everyone is going to like everyone else! It is JUST like real life! Not everyone gets along with everyone else. People will fight, people will make out, people will get angry, people will celebrate. DO YOUR OWN THING! Don't be a sheep all the time :) sometimes it is OK to be a Llama and make your own amazing event that people will be jealous they can't go to! And that is OK!!!!!One day everyone will meet everyone else and not everyone will get along and some people will and others will make out and dance and it will be great......Plain and Simple! Do what you can and Envy what you cant but turn that envy into do someday!