I Miss these people. I hate admitting that but I do. In February I lost the majority of my friends. People that I have love and trusted for the past 5 years. People that I considered my Family here in Orlando. People that I invited to my Wedding. People that I was in weddings for, there for engagements, bridal showers, bachlorette parties and weddings. People that I knew would be aunts and uncles to my some day children. I made mistakes and others made mistakes. There were members of the others who although not directly involved got involved and cut me out totally. I never got asked about my mistakes. I was just accused and cut off without so much as ANYTHING to me. I was just ignored and thrown away. Do I have faults OH YEAH! Did I make mistakes OH YEAH! Am I perfect OH HELL NO! But was I asked my side of the story NO! Was I totally cut off YES! Did it hurt..... you have no idea. I have been told that They couldn't have been my real friends if I lost them but I honestly cant stand behind that 100%. Jealousy had a lot to do with this and I know that. I have been pretty much alone since February. Yes I have the worlds most patient and loving Husband but.....my other 2 bffs live in New Hampshire and in California. Thank GOD for text messages, twitter and BBM! BUT it isn't the same. I am lonely for my friends. I have nobody to go to the movies with to see a girly movie. I have nobody to shop with. I have nobody to go to Cold Stone with. All these people still live where we live. I have run into them all out and about and been smiled at but ignored. I am hurt. Beyond hurt. They have NO idea what that fees like. Do I wish I could go back and change certain things YES! But most of all I wish I was given a chance to tell my side. That is the worst part! They have each other and I have nobody. Do I want pity? Nope. I just think that sometimes you have to put your pain out there. You cant keep it all inside bottled up. Will this do any good? Nope. But I needed to get it out!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Sincere Sundays
I Miss these people. I hate admitting that but I do. In February I lost the majority of my friends. People that I have love and trusted for the past 5 years. People that I considered my Family here in Orlando. People that I invited to my Wedding. People that I was in weddings for, there for engagements, bridal showers, bachlorette parties and weddings. People that I knew would be aunts and uncles to my some day children. I made mistakes and others made mistakes. There were members of the others who although not directly involved got involved and cut me out totally. I never got asked about my mistakes. I was just accused and cut off without so much as ANYTHING to me. I was just ignored and thrown away. Do I have faults OH YEAH! Did I make mistakes OH YEAH! Am I perfect OH HELL NO! But was I asked my side of the story NO! Was I totally cut off YES! Did it hurt..... you have no idea. I have been told that They couldn't have been my real friends if I lost them but I honestly cant stand behind that 100%. Jealousy had a lot to do with this and I know that. I have been pretty much alone since February. Yes I have the worlds most patient and loving Husband but.....my other 2 bffs live in New Hampshire and in California. Thank GOD for text messages, twitter and BBM! BUT it isn't the same. I am lonely for my friends. I have nobody to go to the movies with to see a girly movie. I have nobody to shop with. I have nobody to go to Cold Stone with. All these people still live where we live. I have run into them all out and about and been smiled at but ignored. I am hurt. Beyond hurt. They have NO idea what that fees like. Do I wish I could go back and change certain things YES! But most of all I wish I was given a chance to tell my side. That is the worst part! They have each other and I have nobody. Do I want pity? Nope. I just think that sometimes you have to put your pain out there. You cant keep it all inside bottled up. Will this do any good? Nope. But I needed to get it out!
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...oh Aurora...I know that took a lot for you to write. I don't want to give you pity...because you don't seem like a pity taker!!! :) If I were still in Central Florida, I would SO be there for you!!! I am glad for the Twitterverse, so I could find a long distance friend like you!!! Seriously, if we move back to the Sunshine State...I am there for you!!! Love and Hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteI wish we weren't so far apart. Most times I feel closer to you 3,000 miles away than I do to my friends in the same town. I've known these people since I was 11 but YOU get me. Like really really get me. You are truly one of my very best friends and I love you dearly.
ReplyDeleteWe all make mistakes and bad calls. It's important to communicate always. If you haven't been given the opportunity to speak then sometimes it's just best to leave things be. I know it's so much easier said than done, I've been there. Just give it time. True friends always find a way back to each other.
I love you :)
Hugs, girl. I have been there. Had a group of "friends" for a long time that we did everything together until I started getting cut out of things for no reason that I could see. Things fell apart to the point that they are no longer in my life. I missed them for awhile, but not so much anymore.
ReplyDeleteYou'll get through this. You'll make other friends. Volunteer somewhere, find a club for a hobby you enjoy and join it, try something new. You'll meet people to take their place.
But just remember. The best revenge is living well. ;)
Ro (BatGirl76)